Thursday, May 2, 2024

How To Get OUT of the Snowboard Industry

Plenty has been written about how to get your foot in the door in snowboarding, but everyone knows the true path to industry success is starting a blog, so no need to write another story about that. No, this story is for those people who’ve already “made it.” The ones who put in their years as a rider, then moved on to an industry desk job, and now find themselves at a turning point and are looking to take that next step into the “real world.” It’s a big decision to give up things like powder days off, cheap/free gear and a meager paycheck, but at some point, many industry types will find themselves ready to make the leap. For you, we offer these future career plans.

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Become a bouncer/bartender

If you’re ready to give up the snowboard industry, but not the occasional snowboarding itself, this is a great option for you. You’ll work mostly nights and weekends, leaving you all week to go snowboard. These jobs also will not require you to shave, or get a haircut, and the more menacing you look, the better. Basically, it’s like your years of snowboarding have specifically trained you for a nighttime service job.

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Go work in a different extreme industry

Chances are in all your years of snowboard industrying, you haven’t really learned anything that valuable. At least, not in a way you can transfer your skills to a big money, high profile job in a totally unrelated industry. But there is one loophole that will enable you to advance elsewhere despite your complete lack of qualification: a different, but similar job in another “action sport.” Perhaps Mountain Biking is your passion, or skateboarding, or surfing. All of these jobs are basically like snowboarding, but warmer. The easiest way to achieve this goal is to target an employer such as an energy drink or footwear giant that also deals in snowboarding, but doesn’t really know the difference between it and the sport you want to work in. They’ll accept your snowboarding experience as valid, and all your dreams will come true!

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Go back to school

Nothing will help you make the life change you’re looking for like going back to school. Sure, when you get out of school you’ll find yourself in debt and hardly more qualified than when you started, but those few years will be deemed as “productive” and “socially acceptable” and maybe by then you’ll have figured out what you really want to do.

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Get on a reality TV Show

Once upon a time if you wanted to be successful in a new field you would go back to school, and then work your way up the ranks slowly. Not anymore! Now if you want to be a chef, designer, artist or any other skilled craftsman, there’s a TV show to get you there. Or maybe you just want to find love, preferably with a million dollar bonus at the end. There’s a show for that too! And even if you don’t win the grand prize, after you’ve starred in one reality show, your acting career is right around the corner.

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Start a restaurant or Coffee shop

Now that you’ve conquered the snowboard industry, there is no reason you can’t dive into your own business. And what business is more likely to succeed than a new restaurant! Ok, that is a lie, but it hasn’t stopped many former snowboarders from embarking on such a journey. And hey, if your restaurant starts failing, there’s a reality show for that, too!

Move to Brooklyn

It won’t really work though. The snowboard industry is sort of like the mafia — once you’re in, you’re in for life.

17 COMMENTS

  1. Haha. One of the greatest pieces I’ve recently read. I’m glad that some people can have an honest and amused outlook on the world around us that’s turning to shit. Good on ya, Brooke!

  2. get incurable disease is always a popular choice along with move to Darfur or join taliban

  3. Or do what’s sensible and file for unemployment, then try to get a job at Enterprise Rent-A-Car because they have and excellent corporate structure and they give YOU the tools to be your own boss.

  4. Don’t move to Brooklyn. Please don’t. I’ve seen how you snowboard folk are with money… I don’t need you driving up my rent. Live in a mountain town. Its way better. I swear.

  5. haa scott. i moved to BK, but for a bit. and if anything i drove the rents down…after going back to school and filing for unemployment.

  6. I used to slave away for 13+ hours a day, 7 days a week for a brand grossing 2.5 Million a year…

    Then i got my head out of my ass and went to work for a company grossing a couple billion…

    Quadrupled my salary, got more time to shred, and work 7 hours a day 4 days a week…

    And i didn’t have to sell some crazy Brazilian berry to do it…

  7. “Basically, it’s like your years of snowboarding have specifically trained you for a nighttime service job.” ahhahahha! So true!

  8. you forgot one… admit to yourself that you were just some guy and never really even part of the snowboard industry in the first place.

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