As a recent college graduate with no other real responsibilities this summer than to go snowboarding at Mt. Hood, review the latest and greatest snowboards, and make videos, Nick Lipton certainly has a pained existence. Especially when his mean old boss (me) decides to come snowboarding and see why exactly it is so difficult being Nick Lipton.
9:30 am. I find Nick passed out in all his clothes on a love seat in the Burton house.
9:45 am. A hungover and grumpy Nick peels himself off the couch.
9:50 am. Flirts with the girls at the HCSC office.
9:55 am. Orders a bagel sandwich. Must be reminded to fill out the card, but finally succeeds.
10:00 am. Recaps his night. Includes: Margaritas, cutting down a tree, and being rescued from a night of sleeping in the woods by Burton’s social media manager.
10: 20 am. Drives to the hill.
10:31 am. Decides he should start a rap career because he knows a lot of dirty words.
10:36. Arrives at Timberline to find the parking lot is being repaved and his normal, illegal spot next to the lodge is full of equipment. Argues with the parking lot attendant, who expects him to park on the road, really far away. Nick tells him that sounds really inconvenient. “If you didn’t have a car, you wouldn’t have to park down there,” the guy responds. Finally, Nick decides to park in his normal spot, despite the construction. Gets the thumbs up from a different guy. Win.
10:38. Power nap
10:54. Realizes it is cold out and all his gear from the previous day is still soaked. Opts to go change inside.
11:15. Cig.
11:20. Explains how long the line would have been if we’d gotten here earlier.
11:30. We are finally on the lift!
11:32. Sharing the lift with Jonah Owen, Nick discusses how cold he is.
11:45. In line for lift number 2, Nick discusses the absurdity of ski racer’s outfits.
11:50. On lift number two, Nick talks about how difficult it is having an Intern, and how much drama it has caused in the cool-guy high school snowboarding community.
11:55. First ride down, checks in with diggers at High Cascade.
11:57. Flirts with Desiree.
12:00. Realizes the rope tow isn’t running. Spends a solid 3 minutes debating options.
12:03. Follows Gabby back down to Palmer lift.
12:17. Butters.
12:21. Arrives back at the top of High Cascade to find a cloud has taken over camp.
12:25. Slips the pipe.
12:28. Stands around at High Cascade with pros. Comes up with several brilliant ideas, does none of them.
1:14. Sneaks a snus and doles out life advice to Mason and Louie.
1:20. Watches skiers hit the giant kicker at Windells for Sammy Carlson invitational. Witnesses someone almost die on a front flip nose grab. Decides to ride.
1:25. Rides the now-running rope tow.
1:35. Hits the down tube, twice.
2:00. Realizes it’s too foggy to film. Decides to call it.
2:15. Hits the public park, below the clouds, and decides to film.
2:20. Three unsuccessful attempts at 5-0.
2:35. Sees Shayboarder. Tells her to “get out of town.”
2:45. Sick stall on the public park wall ride.
2:55. Back at the car. Whines that we have to go to the K2 house before he can get a Cobra Dog.
3:15. Changes on the streets of Gov’y.
3:20. Impresses Sean Tedore with his homemade T-shirt.
3:30. Cig.
3:35. Makes me buy him a Cobra Dog. All beef boa, all the veggies.
3:40. Throws something at Ben Bogart.
3:50. Done with his Cobra Dog. Back to the Burton house.
3:55. Sits around for a while. Plays some video games.
4:05. Takes a shit.
4:07. YoBeat content meeting.
4:15. I leave. Presumably nothing else happens for the rest of Nick’s day.
11:15. Texts me to tell me he has no story to post for today.
So that was Nick’s day. He claims his terrible hang over made this day more miserable than usual, and that the day before he worked really, really hard. I will attest the weather was not ideal. It was probably better that way, because the Lipton experience should be a pained one, and we all now have a better understanding of the man that is Nick Lipton.
how the fuck this dude makes it to 4pm after a night of presumed drinking and a diet of hotdogs is amazing.
1. Only like 90% of this is true.
2. There is 5% embellishment, 5% fiction.
3. I really enjoyed this.
Lick Nipton
he was still drunk that morning.
Nick Lipton is a serious douche, who would hire this kid? He doesnt make good content, isnt as funny as he thinks he is and tries to act like he is somebody. Nick should take a gun to his head rather than than continuing to be a poser.
Dear Jenna,
Tell me how you really feel.
love,
Nick
Jenna I get the feeling you’ve never actually encountered nick, otherwise you’d break open a thesaurus and find some better words to describe your hatred.
Blake god isnt real.
^agreed?
i really enjoyed this also.
i would like to say that i approve of nicks actions
dear jenna, putting a gun to your head is a quick and easy way out. if you really wanted to exact hate upon the steaming pile of emotional distress that is nickel back lipton, you would sentence him to jean shorts and a pink izod shirt with a popped collar. death by embarrassment is always slow and agonizing.
Nick, you’re my hero.
-a recent college grad.
when I actually tried that facial hair style I referred to it as the Lipton, didn’t last a day
what i find unbelievable is the small number of cigs that day. he had to smoke at least five more.
jenna toole knows too much. and is right.
I dont understand why he told shannon to get out of town?
It’s called picking on your friends. I’m sure you are familiar with such an idea.
How does he pay back those college loans doing shit all day? Or does mommy and daddy pick up that little tab?
Thank you Nick for that answer and yes I am familiar with the idea of such things.